


Recovery

by EmoPenguin4



Series: We Make Mistakes [2]
Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mentions of Rape, angry men, these men are tryna be more broken than the other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 19:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15177332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmoPenguin4/pseuds/EmoPenguin4
Summary: Rook and Sharky think about where they stand after unwanted memories are dredged up.





	Recovery

Sharky noticed that something changed. Rook hasn't been quite the same after they'd both been captured, even though he can't remember what happened. Sharky had tried asking Rook multiple times, but the response he got was always...

"Conditioning. Nothing new," Rook answers in a flat tone.

"You sure? You've been acting mighty strange."

"I said I'm fine," Rook snaps impatiently. 

Every day they were together, Sharky would ask. Every day they were together, Sharky gets the same response.

Until one day, Sharky couldn't take it. They had just finished a building raid when something inside Sharky had snapped and he pinned Rook to a nearby wall. "Let me go, I don't want it to happen again!" Rook reflexively screamed as his wrists were pinned to the wall.

"What are ya talkin' about?! What happened that day?!"

"Let me go, you asswipe! I don't want to remember!"

"Tell me! Tell me for both of our sakes!"

I don't... Sharky," Rook says, a thinly-veiled pain in his voice. "Please understand I'm not ready to talk about it yet," his voice is uncharacteristically quiet. There's no energy when he speaks anymore. Instead of feisty wit, Rook is straight up irritated all the time. 

"It has something to do with me," Sharky tests.

Rook visibly flinches, still cowering under Sharky's hold. Sharky takes a deep breath to think about what could've happened. 

"It has something to do with you, too?"

Rook gulps, then nods. "I'm not ready to say it outloud... I'm not ready to remember," he responds shakily. "So if you care, please let me go."

Sharky's face contorts into one of deep thought. He contemplates letting Rook go and letting the issue drop. For a moment, he lets go of Rook's hand. Rook returns his hands to his original positi--

Sharky grabs them again, not pinning him this time but just holding on. "I'm so sorry. I've done terrible things and you've been holding it--"

Rook pulls at his hand. "It's not-- It's not your fault," he responds weakly. His voice lacks any conviction.

Flashes of memory pull at Sharky's consciousness. Unfocused images of Rook sprawled out, looking like a snack. Unintelligible screams of some manner. Something wet pooling at Sharky's stomach and shoulder.

"What have I done," Sharky whispers, his grip on Rook's wrists weakening. "I-- I raped you?"

"Stop! Stop, I don't want to remember!"

Sharky, broken, lets go of Rook's hands. The Deputy moves away from Sharky and curls up in a corner. Sharky had done something unspeakable, something that could never be taken back. 

They stand like this. For a time, nothing comes or goes. Peggie reinforcements had passed by but didn't enter the premises. It is awful, unlawful.

Sharky starts walking outside. "Wait, Sharky," Rook meekly called out.

Sharky keeps walking. "Sharky, wait!"

Sharky gets hit. But he keeps walking. "It's the Resistance! Take 'em alive."

Sharky walks until he kneels. No resistance. "Sharkyyyyyy!"

~

Rook desperately fires at all the surrounding Peggies. Sharky is kneeling at the center of the field, very much in danger of being killed by the crossfire. He won't... he won't lose a friend like this. "Fat ass Peggies, suck on this!" Rook pulls out the flamethrower Sharky had dropped when he left feeling broken. 

Rook screams in rage as he releases his anger through the fire and the flames. One by one, Peggies fall into flame. The flamethrower ran out of fuel, so Rook switches back to his rifle. Still mowing down the Peggies. Shooting them all down until none are left. Until the only people breathing are him and Sharky. 

Sharky. 

"Sharky," Rook says breathlessly, throwing his rifle aside and falling to capture the broken man in his grasp. "Sharky," Rook calls, shaking the broken man over and over.

It's not working. Rook stands up and kneels in front of Sharky. "Sharky." No response.

Rook, with tears in his eyes, smacks Sharky in frustration. "Sharky!"

"What?!"

Rook leans back, gasping in shock. Sharky's eyes are full of fire, but at the same time blank. He senses intent but no drive to push. The pyro's face is pulled into anger, but it's aimless. Anger at himself? Anger at Rook? Anger at their situation? Who knows?

"What," he says, not yelling but just as angry as earlier.

"Sharky, it wasn't your fault," Rook says, trying to convince himself as much as he's trying to convince Sharky. "You were drugged, controlled."

"It doesn't change what I did," he states like it's a fact. 

Rook tears up in frustration. It doesn't, but that doesn't mean Sharky should willingly allow himself to die. "It doesn't. But you're not the one who gets a say in what happens."

"Then who?!"

"I do. I do, Sharky." Rook's head spins. Minutes ago he was cowering away, minutes later he's trying to keep Sharky together. 

His shoulders slump. "So tired, Rook. So, so tired."

You have no right to be tired. "I know."

"So mad at Jacob. But he's not here."

Stop. "I know."

"So sorry. So sorry," like a broken record. 

He's not the victim. "I know."

Sharky clutches on to Rook. The only stability he can find right now. Rook does his best to hold in his flinch. Sharky's body shakes, but nothing falls. Rook has let enough fall. 

"We can-- we can fix this," Rook tries. His voice more full but still hollow. "We can move on."

"I'm trying," Sharky admits. 

You just remembered this. Why are you acting like I would? Why are you denying me the sanctuary I desire? "And I've been trying. For some time now."

Sharky looks at Rook, eyes moving, searching for something. There is a moment where, for one second, Rook can see everything in Sharky. The torment, the grief, the regret. 

Rook considers Sharky's unstable form. They're both unstable, really. One just had more sense than the other right now. "We need to leave, this place is dangerous. Get in that vehicle and I'll drive us somewhere safe."

~

Sharky has had time to recover. To think. He was being rash. He let his emotions get the best of him. And now Rook is upset at him for more reasons.

The drive is tense, quiet. No words could fill the silence, not even the thinly-veiled threats coming from radio transmissions. For more reasons than one, the tension is thick.

Eventually, they make the drive to a place Rook has kept secure before. Sharky knows this place intimately. It's where they first had sex. He shakes off the memory, happiness forever tainted by the corruption of Bliss. Rook shuts off the engine and exits the car, opening the front door. Expecting Sharky to follow.

Sharky exits the vehicle and follows Rook. They open the door and enter together. A simple arrangement, a couch, a bed, a countertop. Rook sits on the bed, and Sharky sits on the couch.

A collar lays on the counter. 

"So where do we start," Sharky asks. 

"Tell me what you remember."

A beat passes. "You falling. Bliss bullets. Waking up in a cage. Being hit with a new strain of Bliss." Sharky's memory gets foggy. He scratches at his head. "Jacob Seed. Containment in a room. Bliss in the air." It's becoming painful to remember. "You in a cage. Being placed on a bed." It hurts. "You on top of me." It hurts. "Jacob, too." It hurts so much.

Rook looks at Sharky and immediately rushes to him. "What's wrong?" It hurts.

"My head," Sharky says. "My heart."

Sharky doesn't understand the look on Rook's face. "Don't forget to think about me while you're in that pity party of yours," he snaps. 

The pain must be showing on his face. "Sharky, I'm so sorry," Rook apologizes. He's done nothing wrong. He's been wronged.

Guilt. "No, I'm sorry."

"All this time, you didn't remember. These weeks, I've been silently suffering."

"Yeah."

"And all you've done is quietly make it worse."

"...yeah."

Rook flops down, his back to the bed. "And here we are."

"Here we are."

Minutes pass. Rook just continues to lay there. Sharky is drowning. On the couch. "We're going nowhere with this," Rook admits, standing up and walking over to Sharky. "Look, I've said sorry. You've said sorry. We both know what we've done. Who made us do it."

Nothing.

"I would do it again if I had a better chance at setting you free."

Blink. What?

"If I had a choice that I knew the end result of, I would still pick the same. I would still pick you."

"What?"

"I made that choice because I thought it would keep you safe."

So selfless. That's why he loved Rook. At least, as much as he could untainted. Now the memory of bitterness drags between them.

"I would do it agai--"

"No. I'm not worth it," Sharky responds. He stands up and grabs Rook's hands. "But you, you're so much more precious than that. Ya threw away your sanity for me. Your dignity."

"You are worth it," Rook breathes. "That's why I love you."

And that's why I love you, too, his thoughts say. But nothing from his mouth.

"We had a long day. Sleep with me."

Sharky lets himself be pulled into bed with Rook. They fall into position, Rook with his back to Sharky, who spoons the Deputy. Minutes of peace lead to hours of rest.


End file.
